Maya's First Days with us. We looked after our daughter, despite the tragedy that had happened we needed to look after her. We held and hugged her for hours afterwards, we gave her a bath and dressed her in her going home outfit. Cool jeggings, fluffy monster socks, and a top that made my heart miss a beat. It had on it "I love my Daddy", I wish I could hear her say that. She looked beautiful and she was ours. We needed to get some sleep so Emma slept on the bed, Maya next to her and dad on the chair. Seeing Emma with our daughter was a beautiful sight, but the silence was deafening. We tried to sleep, but I couldn't. During the day we stayed with Maya, we took prints of her feet and hands. We gave her a manicure and a hair cut for our memory box, and we showed her off to all the family that came to see us. We held her, hugged her and loved her. The day felt like it was a week long. We had visits from the professional photographer, we saw the lovely doctor that was looking after us. It was nice that Maya looked peaceful, but I wanted her to be deafening me with her crying. We spent the whole day with her and decided that we needed to go home late in the evening, the longer we waited the harder it would be. So we gave Maya another bath, dad had to change her nappy, and we got her into her pj's. We settled her into her moses basket and said goodnight, she was looked after by the lovely staff at the hopsital. The drive home was the longest, hardest drive I have ever had to do. But at home it was worse, when we left we expected to be coming home with our daughter but we were empty handed. We needed to move the cot that was next to our bed, that was when what I had lost hit me hard in the chest. We saw Maya every day the Friday and at the weekend. We told her about her family and we spent so much time with her, but it was always the drive home that was the worst part. A father should not have to leave his baby daughter like that. We spent time sorting out the arrangements for Maya, our roles as parents were now arranging our daughter's funeral. We knew that there would soon be a day where we would not be able to see Maya. We had decided on the Friday for the funeral, we decided not to see Maya on the Tuesday. The first day in nine months where I could not speak to her, see her, read to her or hug her. It was hard. But the hardest part was to come. We saw Maya on Wednesday for the last time, and here we got her ready for her funeral. We kept her in her pj's, she looked so relaxed. As her parents we wanted to place her in her casket with things that we knew we wanted her to have. We held her for the last time each and it was up to me to place her in her casket. I cannot describe the feeling of placing your daughter into her coffin but it took every ounce of courage. I love Maya and it is my duty as her father to make sure that she is as ok as I can. I laid her into her casket. We placed her on her side she hugged a small tiger that her cousin had got for her. Behind her we placed Mr Dog, a gift from her aunty. She had a teddy bear from her memory box and a teddy from the hospital. We also placed a letter from her cousin and two pictures of the three of us together. We snuggled her up with a blanket made by a friend from work and she was ready. The emotions have no names, the feelings have no names. But I am proud of us for being her parents, even at this time in this situation. I love Maya and these 6 days that we spent with her will be with me forever. Maya, always in our hearts and memories. Mummy and Daddy XxX