Maya Alexandra Stephenson Born 26.04.12 at 02:55am, born naturally. Weighed 7lbs 5oz, head circumference 33cm, 49cm tall. Maya's Birth, by Emma Louise Stephenson – Maya's Mummy. The 25th of April was a Wednesday. For the few days before I had been having contractions on and off. Maya was due on the 22nd. We had seen our Midwife, Alison, on the Tuesday morning and everything was fine – Maya was wriggling about and her heartbeat was strong. All the signs were good that I would go into labour soon and we would be able to meet our little girl. So back to Wednesday. At about 11:30 I started having contractions that were about half an hour apart and not too painful. They were more uncomfortable than painful at this stage. Steadily throughout the day the contractions got more intense and closer together. I spent some of the time in bed resting, but most of the time I was downstairs with Marti. As they got more painful I practised my breathing exercises – deep breaths in and hard breaths out (strong enough to blow a candle out) as well as bouncing on my yoga ball. Marti was very supportive, reminding me to blow out hard and giving me back rubs when I needed them. At about 5pm we called the hospital to let them know I was in labour and to ask when to come in. At that point my contractions were 8 minutes apart. The midwife I spoke to advised me to wait until they were about 5 minutes apart or I wasn't coping with the pain any more. I was OK until about 11pm so we phoned them back and this time they asked if I had felt Maya moving. I hadn't, but I thought at the time that babies moved less during labour. They asked us to come in to be checked over. We arrived at about 11:30pm and two midwives (Erin and 1 other) tried to find Maya's heartbeat without success. The consultant was called and we were taken for an ultrasound. Mary, the consultant, gave us the devastating news that Maya had died. We were taken to a side room to have a little bit of time alone. I was still in labour throughout this. I suddenly couldn't cope with the pain. I asked to have everything, Pethidine, Gas and Air, Codeine and an Epidural. I was given Codeine immediately, but it didn't help at all. I was given Pethidine and gas and air. The gas and air really helped me through the physical and emotional pain. I don't know what effect the Pethidine had as I continued to use gas and air throughout the rest of labour. Mary examined me internally to figure out what to do next. It became clear quite quickly that I was in established labour and was 5 cms dilated. It was decided to move me to the labour ward – the high dependency unit, but I didn't know that at the time. The staff worked hard to move some women around so that I wouldn't hear any other babies being born. I was wheeled to the room on a trolley as I felt too dizzy and weak to sit in a chair. It was hard as I couldn't have any pain relief while being moved and I had two strong contractions. When we arrived Jane was waiting for us and helped me to crawl onto the new bed. Things are a real haze for the next 2 and a half hours. I remember the contractions getting stronger and stronger and using the gas and air almost constantly. I remember saying things but don't really remember what I said. I remember thinking “this is horrible, this is horrible” and crying knowing that Maya had died inside me. I remember how dry the gas and air made my mouth and how nice it was to have water. I remember being scared to push as I didn't know how dilated I was and I didn't want to hurt myself. I remember asking Jane to examine me and being told I was 9 and a half cms; just a tiny bit of cervix left. I remember pushing a little bit clearer as the contractions and pain seemed to have a use now. Pushing felt so good. It hurt like hell and I made grunting noises to help myself, but it felt good to push. I remember pushing on my back and it feeling wrong. I asked Jane if I could go up on all fours, laid on a bean bag and she agreed that would be ok. I got onto the bean bag after a couple more contractions and instantly felt better. Gravity was helping me to push my daughter out. I remember pushing on the second contraction after I moved and felt Maya's head come out. Jane told me to stop pushing and wait until the next contraction to push her body out. I knew what to do. I started to pant until the next contraction came. When it did I pushed and Maya was born. Her waters came out at the same time as her body in one big gush. It felt very strange but satisfying. I remember that the pain was gone the split second she was born. I asked Marti to tell me, was our baby a girl. Yes, yes she is, and she's beautiful. I held her close to me for a short time, then Marti held her while Jane and I sorted me out. It was crystal clear what had happened to Maya. There was a knot in her cord that was tied tight. She'd got herself all in a tangle and was wrapped in her cord several times. The umbilical cord was very very long also. Aside from that Maya was absolutely perfect in every way. Gorgeous little cheeks, perfect little nose, ears like mine – detached lobes. I can't quite place when it was that my world ended. I know that I will never be the same again, and I don't want to be. Maya changed my life for the better in so many ways. She showed me how strong I am. She showed me how much I can love someone. She brought Marti and I closer together – we have a bond that can never be broken. She has touched the lives of people we haven't even met. She has shown us how wonderful our family and friends are. I am her Mummy and I always will be.